Last night, I sat down and worked on book four for a few hours. It was the first time I’ve written in a long time, and one of the few times I’ve even thought about doing so since Michelle’s passing.
The instant I started writing, I felt invigorated and reconnected with my stories. It wasn’t easy to pick up where I’d left off (there is so much to do!) but just the simple act of engaging with Bobby and his friends felt amazing. I’ve missed them so much!
This morning, I told a friend how great it felt to write again and began to wonder why I haven’t done so sooner. I’d like to lay it all at the feet of a malaise over recent events, but that’s not entirely true. As I recounted portions of book three, and discussed my plans for book four, it occurred to me just how much I cherish having an audience and the feedback they provide.
I miss Mich’s advice and feedback more than I can ever express with words, but my motivation has always come from a much wider audience. I write for myself, because my stories want to be told, but I am fueled by the responses I receive from the people who read them.
With books one and two published but not widely received, I have struggled to maintain my motivation. Rejection letters from agents don’t hurt the way they once did, but they still take their toll. It’s tough to push through sometimes.
Mich’s passing was the proverbial straw. But now I want to get back at it. Engaging with others about my stories and knowing that people care really helps.
So, thank you to all my readers, fans, friends, and family. Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Thank you to everyone who ever provided feedback or comments (positive or negative!). It is because of your support that I find the strength to go on.
At this time, as I continue to struggle to connect on my own, hearing from others what Bobby means to them, means all the world to me.